For some reason

"dah lebih 10 thun da hidup"
"Asyik nak kene bagitau je wat ape"
"Solat pon nk kena panggil"
"X tau la ape nak jadi"
"Dah ade otak, bole fikir mule rse pandai melawan"
"Masuk skola pandai rse pandai la tu"
"Baru buat skit da perasan bagus"

Yeah right...
Aku pon x tau aku nak jd ape... hmph!😠
Ok.. cmnila...
You said that our live never change, it was always like this but you yourself know that our heart changes.
You thought that those 'small' insult were just a joke...
You know what ... I'm a girl too, deep inside it actually hurts.
Why? Why do you always say that you understand me so well, you said that you hate people that talks big but aren't you bragging about yourself too much?
Every time anyone showed up you would insult me and say how useless I am. Staying in the house and finished off your money and all even tho I I've done a lot...
To be honest, I don't even remember the last time you praised me for what I did.
All I could hear these days were insult or fake praises that ended with teasing expression that doesn't sound honest at all. Was I the one who misunderstood it? I don't think so.
You always said that you need to take care of your image.. then what about mine? People around us must have thought that I'm the worst. How shameful of me.
Maybe you really did understand me but the way you're handling my emotion was always the same.. at times it could be fun at how you were joking on how lame I look when I cry. Or smirk at me while I'm crying. But at times it hurts like hell. You always do think of your own reputation but never think about others'.
I don't know what to say anymore.
You maybe love me but it looks like I'm starting to doubt it.
I know that it was just to burn my spirits..
All what you've done so far.
But, you know at times I could use some praises, good impression and all.

I Am Sorry

I am not asking why, rather, I am saying sorry.  Sorry for not being born talented.  Sorry for not being born perfect.  Sorry for not being born with HIS illness.  Sorry for not taking place for him for that illness.  Sorry for being easily hurt.  Sorry for being always 'not' considerate and understanding.  Sorry for 'not' supporting.  Sorry for being such a 'bitch' that man could 'easily' hang out with.  Funny.  This 'BITCH' is still a virgin who never touched a man except for her family members after the day she became a woman.  Weird.  They cried, they sobs, they hugged me asking for support and such but what did I get in return?  A bunch of people who barely remembered my name.  And 'LUCKILY' , I was being stared at like some kind of animal.  A weird kind of animal.  THIS animal who have weird habits ere rejected by many.  Why is that?  Just because she lacked of money, popularity and beauty.  What did you say  People recognised those who are beauty inside?  Stop talking shit.  Without money, fame, a beauty body and face, you're nothing in this kind of world.  Well, I'm not beauty neither from the inside nor outside.  I couldn't win anyone's heart.  Not even one person.  I'm such a failure.  I'm the first experiment and it seems like I'm a failure.  I would never be any profit for anyone.  It's not that I was trapping myself in my own thoughts but this is the truth of my life.  No one really appreciate my existence, huh?  'Cause I'm a failure since I was born in this world.  Again, I'm sorry for being myself.  Not perfect, not talented since birth and a failure.  HE was born talented indeed.  Having such great skills without a need to work hard for practices.  What did you say?  Practice makes perfect?  Listen!  Whatever you do, whatever yo try, you will never ever defeat those with talents since birth because they would only need 10% of hardwork to be more than us who strive 100% of our strength to be perfect.  I know that I am needed somewhere but I'm very sure that I'm not needed here.  In my own family.  Which family?  Friends or the true family?  I might want you, reader to guess that on your own.  The only person who would understand and support myself is me.  Absolutely myself and no one else.

jom menggila !! [part 2]

Okay.... jom sambung perkara mengarut ini...

Kita mulakan dengan PKT...!

Kyra....!

Ok.... disebabkan apps tuh x de lak tudung...

I amek tema yang sepatutnya digunakan dalam frog

(Yg Haiza x sempat nak buat)

that is vocaloid....!

kyra.... jadi miku.... Hatsune miku.... 01

This is the real miku...

Next... our beloved S/U....

Haiza!!!!!(as gakupo)

well, Haiza pakai spek....

patutnye kena ade effect bling2 

nmpakkan die ni kdg2 sinis

but.... time edit tu lupe..>_<

Next is....

Peqa!!~

well actually die jadi yowne haku...

 so rambut die patutnye grey...

haihhh

Now......

Ila!!!!( as Gumi)

Izzah as (x igt)

Alya nabila as miki

Ain had as luka megurine

Me as Rin kagamine

Najiha as lapis

Muni as tei sukone(tsundere)

Pah as meiko

Nina as zatsune miku

Dziaul as seeu

Mia as Lily

Cuna as Namine Ritsu

Well, actually watak ni lelaki yg crossdessing jadi pompuan

tapi aku dah tatu nak masukkan watak siape lagi so aku randomly pilih je hihihi

jgn marah aAaA

Ena as anon

Farah as kanon

Shida as IA

jom menggila [part 1] ♡♥♡♥

Woooooohooooo!

It's time to do something random!!!!

Memandangkan aku telah berjaya mencoteng dinding 

Rumah ketiga ku dengan avatar 2 rakan2ku.....

Aku cipta yang ala2 mcm avatar dorg tapi.... guna apps kat tab

The first person is......

Aboyyy.....!

well kalau ikutkan mata die kena btol2 sepet....

tpi aku x jumpe la dlm apps tuhhh

n die pakai songkok....

sooooo dsbbkan itu pon xde aku ganti ngsn topi...

2nd person is....

Meol....!

well.... xde lah pulak aku jumpa rambut 5 helai.

.. so aku pilih ape ade je *sengihsengih *

Next is.....

Apoz......!

well dak ni memang banyak cakap sket soooo

nmpak x muka excited tuuuuu

rmbut ungu sbb die prs.... 

hmmmm tu je laa kot...

Next is....

ABA.....!

Well this guy is sure an otaku so....

mate die biru rmbut die kuning

just like naruto's.... 

Next....

Chik....! 

Hmmm dlm avatar sbnr rmbut die kerinting...

 Ni.... aku kurgkn sketlah ennnn

sian.... kang jadi afro pulak....

Now.....

Kercux.....!

kay.... mamat ni kena ade rupa monyet dlm avatar die...

Tpi.... x de lah pulak dlm app nak jdikan die kemonyetan...

So... I put that monkey ears 

also a mask konon2 die ni mmcm princess and the frog lahh

( cuma kes die ni the princess and the monkey lahhh ) 

sbnarnya charming ennn tu yg x leh tunjuk muka

Pastuh....

Pidot...!

this guy loves to act like a cartoon so I make...

his eyes bublish mcm dlm anime

since he's an otaku jgak (tapi  x nak ngaku)

now....

Mukhlis!!!!

ok... I'm sorry for him sbb nmpak hodoh..

but I've tried my best you know...

eheehe

The last one in part one is....

Munip....!

hmmmmm aku pon.... kurg pasti knape imej 

die..... camni.......

So that's all for now...... bye...... nanti I smabung lain kali.... ☆★☆★☆★☆★☆ ★☆★

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡ ♡

konklusi...?

Now..... dari sgale bnde yg aku asyik dok fikir ni...
(Dri post smlm)

Aku dah buat satu conclusion.....

Konklusinya..... (waduuuh teringat periksa BM aritu)

Semua yg aku rse ni....

Fikir ni...

Peningkan ni....

Ade benda yg aku hilang....

Teruknya aku kerana x sedar......

Aku bru teringat......

 asyik tenggelam dlm dunia sendiri je kan...

Allah ade di sisiku

Aku....... malu......

Allah sentiasa ade..... cuma aku yg sengaja mlupakan...

Kenape lah teruk sgt aku ni....

Igt allah sentiasa di sisi kita.......

What have I done.....

 I've destroyed my own thoughts...

Now.... time to clear it ... all of it

muhasabah..... diri??

Let's see...... How long have I left you dear weirdo blog?
Don't ya miss meeh... well.... haaaaah what should I start with.....

I....... I'm los4.... is there anyone who could guide me.......

Well.... I gueas it's a no then..... you see.... Latwly... I've been thinking of weird things.... it's like this....

Peliklaaaah... kenape ....... semua org kat skliling aku treat me differently???

Bukan nak bangga ke hape... tape semua ni.... cam pelik sgt....

Well.... bayangkan lah..... aku nii... budak pelik and semua org maklum dgn perkara ni.. tapi.... adakah diri ini  pelik bermakna semua orang jujur dgn aku....???? please.. tell me.... ade kaitan ke being pelik dgn bnda 2 ni? .... well cam ni lah...
 contoh situasi dye...... ade sorg mamat ni.... sume org dok... "awak.... minx tlg bleh x sebb tenet kiter slow... bley x awak tlg crikn bhn n4ok kiter... trimas....!!!!!^.^" ..... mmg sumepompuan minx tlg die ah kan... tpi bler smpai kat aku..... die yg dok..... " weyh.... Intan dgr crite ko dh siap wat folio ... ummm yg ni cqmane... ade copy x?  nk wat rujukan...!!!!><~" ..... =.= de heck nyerrrrrre....

situasi 2 .....

ade sorg mamat ni..... dk pompuam sume dok. " hah..... majok lah tu kite x nk lyn dye.... " sat gi die aca2 cool " manade " jaqab pon sepatah je lah kan..... sat gi .... dgn aku.... " hah..... majok ah tu.... eeeee intan majok ah..." .... satgi aku ulg watak die balik " manade... x kuasa aku! " ... tpi aku jwb x sepatah lah yg pasti....ehhhehehh

situasi 3.....

"Eeeeeh luka kat muka ni knape... " sume sibuk kerumun budak pompuan tuh... sat gi tgn aku brdarah 2 mngalir 2 lagi ni.... dorg sume akn ckp bnda same "alaaaa Intan biase lah tu...."

Situasi4....

adesorg budk ni... die kuat memendam tpi smpai kat aku je..... die tunjuk diri die......

situasi 5...

kbnykkan budak yg pendam demi kselesaan rmai... tunkjuk diri dorg yg sbnar kat aku... luahkan perasaan kat aku..... MOSTLY...

sometimes.... all of this makes me feel scared and terasing... tapi skrg bile dok pikiaq balik.......

AKU BANGGA

tau knape ?  sbb x de yg fake dpan aku ..that's a good thing.... 

and nak tau tak bile sume tunjuk diri mereka yg sbnar .... aku dpat knl pbagai jnis manusia n brfikir acano dorg brfikir.... interesting right?......... n this is where I end up underastanding almost everybody.... and now the sad part is... I'm an open book... everyone can read qhat I feel , I think , I plan.... yet.... not a single person Understand me... NOT A SINGLE PERSON......... welll.. I x lyak difhami... kerana I'm too heartless.... kan? Serves me right...

Tough

Assalamualaikum....Intan the weird girl is HERE!!!!!!!!hmmmmmmmm ....... nak citer bnde 2 yang dibenci lagi......Bosan ke?so what?..... my blog not yours.... haaaaahthe thing that I want to tell you guys that is......  the word...TOUGH..... yaaa..... sume mesti igt I ni tough kan???YE laaaaaaa bygkan kalau org cam fatin fatini kene..... tumbuk...... korg mesti risau kan??walau seganas mana pon die..... k-kalau aku...?mesti korg..... x kesa kan....?..... why?.....sbb.... aku ni kan.......TOUGH..... hey..... Your hurting my womanly heart here....but..... wwhat do you care?????Intan kan..... TOUGH...... she knows how to handke it...... she doesn't need........ any  supports to stand..... cause...... it is INTAN........ since I was 9..... people think that I am veery tough...... bila kena buli..... I cry...... a lot.... but...... what did the others do????they laughed at me..... they said that ...... a tomboy like me..... is being bullied...... such A FUNNY THING.... YOU SHOULD GROW UP INTAN..... YOU ARE TOUGH .... ARE'NNT YA????...... semua nak saiko aku...... sbb ape..... semua pikir aku sekuat...... besi...... tough...... heyy.... besi ..... it bents ..... but.... what what doo you guys care..... I'm the TOUGH INTAN.... ouch.... that ..... hhurts........ I never thought I am Alone cause..... I know....my lil bro..... that is my best childhood friend would  always be there for me........ by my side.... but I thought it ia gonna be FOREVER.... but.... my thought betrayed me.... It hurts..... he changed..... he is an ego maniac right now..... ..... it hurts....... still.....how can a sister hate her own bro.... that's impoossible...... I thought I would have Nani by my side forever..... but she 's far away now.... we hardly contact you know..... but deep in my heart. ... I know I miss her and she miss me...... kenape sume..... igt aku tough..... sbb .... aku ganas?.... sbb aku..... tomboy?.... muka aku ganas??? heyyyyy that 's not fair...... you know what.... I have many similarities with a cat.... why?..... bcause....a cat is always fierce ...... it will scratch you.... without even a reason sometime....they attacked you because they were scared.... it's a warning to say that they are very scary as a self protection ... but once you become fond of the cat.... it' s very weak and needs attention.... that 's me.... hqihhhhh tapi.... apakqn daya...... x semua fqham diri semua orang..... normal lah..... kqn?